Doug and Bob are Inquisitors with a difference. Doug like's nothing more than to boufant his hair while Bob likes a night out
with the lads. Still, as they aren't in this page, we won't give out there last names.
The REAL story of the page so far...
Meanwhile, not more than a swallow's flight away, evil was afoot. The Spam Sinners had attacked and
were driving stakes into the poor, helpless canned hearts of all the Spams in the world, including Smoky Flavored Spam!!!
Even the esteemed Vincent Price was helping the Spam Sinners. Why!?!? Vinny!!! Why!?!? Well, it just turned out he was having a bad hair
day, but still, Spam was in danger and someone would have to act and act fast.
In the meantime, chaos reigned on Earth, DWoods and Zuel were still having a great time with the babes of the
Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls. However, Dirk realized that we were having too much fun, so he reminded us (lousy jerk) and, having survived the awesome babes of the Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken
Amazon Sorority Girls, Dirk declared that DWoods and Zuel would, henceforth, be Cardinals in the Spamish Inquisition. We even got
new uniforms, and there was much rejoicing.
However, being reminded of the mission at hand, and suffering from enormous hangovers, we set off to fight the Spam Sinners. Man, we fucking forgot about the whole mission at hand. I mean, really. So, yes, we remembered we had to fight the Spam Sinners and Fight We Would! Except, we weren't quite sure how we were gonna do it. There were
motions to use nuclear weapons, but that would have taken years and we wanted to get back to the Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls as quickly as possible. So we opted for a more subtle and stupid gesture against the Spam
Sinners.
Fred, aka "Cool Hair" Jones (pictured here), the half-cousin of Vincent Price decided to go into sausage manufacturing.
As DWoods and Zuel prepared, it was soon discovered who the mastermind of the Spam Sinners was, mainly
because we finally looked in Earl's Chicken Emporium, and there he was, hiding amonst the gizzards. Yes, it was the Black Brain of Arrrrrrgh.
The chase was on! We first traveled to Uranus. Hearing that the Black Brain had left for Guam, we tracked him there. On our arrival in Guam, we realized that
the Black Brain had returned to Uranus. Acting on a hunch, we spent several monthis back on the Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls. Returning
through Panama, we finally cornered the Black Brain and his minions in a condo at the Vatican.
However, the Black Brain was waiting for our heroes and had laid a trap. DWoods and Zuel, having used their Spamarangs and
Spamropes to get to the lair of the Black Brain, used their fearsome fighting force to finish off the frightful fiends. *Phew*. So, digging in there patent pending
utility belts, they used their special Spam Itching Powder against the Spam Sinners, and with a BIFF! POW! ZANG! The Spam Sinners were almost defeated! However,
the Black Brain had one last buffalo wing up his sleeve. No, what I meant was that the Black Brain had a secret weapon.
The Vile Fiends trapped us in a Death Ray! The horror as the out of tune piano thumped and groaned, while DWoods
and Zuel were caught in a very sophisticated, yet somehow disturbingly soothing trap. How did we escape you may ask? Well, ask
you shall. Thankfully, Zuel and DWoods had worked the Vegas strips as Miss Understood and Miss Fortune. The evil Death
Ray was hypnotized by the G-strings and platform shoes and the mellow sounds of "It's Raining Men", and so he ate himself to death. And who wouldn't? Once free, our heroes had to come up with a way to finally defeat
all of the Spam Sinners. YAY!
Using a brilliant strategy not seen since the battle of Badon Hill on England's soil in 787.
A.D.?
Of course it was A.D. but you don't have to say it's A.D. it's just the year 787.
B.C. then?
No, not B.C. nothing happened in 787 B.C., well, not in England. If I said Egypt or Sumeria, yes, I'd agree with you, but I said England in 787.
A.D.?
Oh shut up. Anyway, our heroes perplexed the Spam Sinners and made there heads explode by asking the greatest question of all time. "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" The results were startling!
The Spam Sinners were defeated, with a few escaping out an escape hatch.
"D'oh, who was guarding the escape hatch?"
"It was you Zuel, wasn't it?"
"No, it was supposed to be you DWoods."
"But I thought you said you were going to guard the hatch Zuel?"
"No, I distinctly heard you say you were going to guard it DWoods."
And so more Spam Sinners escaped as DWoods and Zuel argued over who was supposed to guard the escape hatch. Finally, an agreement was reached when
both decided to take the blame and to be punished at the Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls.
Still, we had captured the Mastermind behind the Spam Sinners, the Black Brain of Arrrrrrgh and he was to be placed in custody.
Our heroes required special suits to escort the Black Brain to his cell. DWoods is wearing a striking black organza protection suit made by Armani, with matching air tanks
and brushed otterskin high heels. The suit was made entirely by hand using three hundred pieced of Arabian shot skin, mixed with Arabian sht silk. Zuel has chosen a more
vibrant approach by wearing a plaid tweed protection suit by Brooks Brothers with pink air tanks and it also says Zuel is wearing Leopard skin underwear, but we won't be
seeing it. Matching the underwear is a taxi driver skin overcoat and moccassins.
Having defeated the Spam Sinners, Vinny was released from the evil mental projections that had made him a Spam
Sinner, that and someone gave him a bottle of mousse. Vinny showed us some ways to thwart the Spam Sinners so that regular people would be protected from now on. One
of the methods was to hang bunches of eyeballs, which Spam Sinners feel is a Mega dose of the Evil Eye. Another way was to spread Spam gel over window and door frames,
and Spam Sinners would be unable to pass through that opening. With the help Vincent had given us, we knew the Spam Sinners would become a thing of the past, sorta like
Vampires and people that like showtunes.
With a job well done, and the threat of the Spam Sinners gone, our heroes headed back to the office for some coffee and to check on
there sea monkeys. However, it was soon discovered that someone had eaten the sea monkeys in a crazed attempt to understand the language of brine shrimp. Sort of anti-climatic really. Sorry,
our budget really didn't take into account the ending and this is all we could afford. Damn budget cuts. Anyway, aside from that, everyone lived happily ever after, except for
the sea monkeys, but we all ready knew that.
The End.
Well, not really the end. We last saw Dirk at the Strip n' Gulp on the
Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls. He has not been seen since. If anyone has any information on Dirk, please let the S.B.I
know cause we miss watching him with his Thinking Hat on. We get so much enjoyment from that. Thank you.
Meanwhile, not more than a swallow's flight away, evil was afoot. The Spam Sinners had attacked and
were driving stakes into the poor, helpless canned hearts of all the Spams in the world, including Smoky Flavored Spam!!!
Even the esteemed Vincent Price was helping the Spam Sinners. Why!?!? Vinny!!! Why!?!? Well, it just turned out he was having a bad hair
day, but still, Spam was in danger and someone would have to act and act fast. 
In the meantime, chaos reigned on Earth, DWoods and Zuel were still having a great time with the babes of the
Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls. However, Dirk realized that we were having too much fun, so he reminded us (lousy jerk) and, having survived the awesome babes of the Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken
Amazon Sorority Girls, Dirk declared that DWoods and Zuel would, henceforth, be Cardinals in the Spamish Inquisition. We even got
new uniforms, and there was much rejoicing.
However, being reminded of the mission at hand, and suffering from enormous hangovers, we set off to fight the Spam Sinners. Man, we fucking forgot about the whole mission at hand. I mean, really. So, yes, we remembered we had to fight the Spam Sinners and Fight We Would! Except, we weren't quite sure how we were gonna do it. There were
motions to use nuclear weapons, but that would have taken years and we wanted to get back to the Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls as quickly as possible. So we opted for a more subtle and stupid gesture against the Spam
Sinners.
Fred, aka "Cool Hair" Jones (pictured here), the half-cousin of Vincent Price decided to go into sausage manufacturing.
As DWoods and Zuel prepared, it was soon discovered who the mastermind of the Spam Sinners was, mainly
because we finally looked in Earl's Chicken Emporium, and there he was, hiding amonst the gizzards. Yes, it was the Black Brain of Arrrrrrgh.
The chase was on! We first traveled to Uranus. Hearing that the Black Brain had left for Guam, we tracked him there. On our arrival in Guam, we realized that
the Black Brain had returned to Uranus. Acting on a hunch, we spent several monthis back on the Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls. Returning
through Panama, we finally cornered the Black Brain and his minions in a condo at the Vatican.
However, the Black Brain was waiting for our heroes and had laid a trap. DWoods and Zuel, having used their Spamarangs and
Spamropes to get to the lair of the Black Brain, used their fearsome fighting force to finish off the frightful fiends. *Phew*. So, digging in there patent pending
utility belts, they used their special Spam Itching Powder against the Spam Sinners, and with a BIFF! POW! ZANG! The Spam Sinners were almost defeated! However,
the Black Brain had one last buffalo wing up his sleeve. No, what I meant was that the Black Brain had a secret weapon.
The Vile Fiends trapped us in a Death Ray! The horror as the out of tune piano thumped and groaned, while DWoods
and Zuel were caught in a very sophisticated, yet somehow disturbingly soothing trap. How did we escape you may ask? Well, ask
you shall. Thankfully, Zuel and DWoods had worked the Vegas strips as Miss Understood and Miss Fortune. The evil Death
Ray was hypnotized by the G-strings and platform shoes and the mellow sounds of "It's Raining Men", and so he ate himself to death. And who wouldn't? Once free, our heroes had to come up with a way to finally defeat
all of the Spam Sinners. YAY!
Using a brilliant strategy not seen since the battle of Badon Hill on England's soil in 787.
The Spam Sinners were defeated, with a few escaping out an escape hatch.
Still, we had captured the Mastermind behind the Spam Sinners, the Black Brain of Arrrrrrgh and he was to be placed in custody.
Our heroes required special suits to escort the Black Brain to his cell. DWoods is wearing a striking black organza protection suit made by Armani, with matching air tanks
and brushed otterskin high heels. The suit was made entirely by hand using three hundred pieced of Arabian shot skin, mixed with Arabian sht silk. Zuel has chosen a more
vibrant approach by wearing a plaid tweed protection suit by Brooks Brothers with pink air tanks and it also says Zuel is wearing Leopard skin underwear, but we won't be
seeing it. Matching the underwear is a taxi driver skin overcoat and moccassins.
Having defeated the Spam Sinners, Vinny was released from the evil mental projections that had made him a Spam
Sinner, that and someone gave him a bottle of mousse. Vinny showed us some ways to thwart the Spam Sinners so that regular people would be protected from now on. One
of the methods was to hang bunches of eyeballs, which Spam Sinners feel is a Mega dose of the Evil Eye. Another way was to spread Spam gel over window and door frames,
and Spam Sinners would be unable to pass through that opening. With the help Vincent had given us, we knew the Spam Sinners would become a thing of the past, sorta like
Vampires and people that like showtunes.
With a job well done, and the threat of the Spam Sinners gone, our heroes headed back to the office for some coffee and to check on
there sea monkeys. However, it was soon discovered that someone had eaten the sea monkeys in a crazed attempt to understand the language of brine shrimp. Sort of anti-climatic really. Sorry,
our budget really didn't take into account the ending and this is all we could afford. Damn budget cuts. Anyway, aside from that, everyone lived happily ever after, except for
the sea monkeys, but we all ready knew that.
Well, not really the end. We last saw Dirk at the Strip n' Gulp on the
Lusty Busty Planet of Drunken Amazon Sorority Girls. He has not been seen since. If anyone has any information on Dirk, please let the